I found myself tinkering with an unfinished layout for 3 hours. Whatever I do seems ineffective and unable to "pass as moderately satisfactory" even for my lowest quality standards. I feel that there was a switch in my head I accidentally switched off and now I don't know where it is. I pulled myself away from work and took a 15-minute nap before heading out to have lunch. When I got back, I finished the infernal page in half an hour. I found my switch! Sleep! [or was it food, nah] I have not been getting enough sleep lately and it's frustrating. I have been through a lot of all-nighters but I have never felt so much like a mindless zombie before. All those sleepless night are catching up to me and setting my brain on emergency shut down. Did you know that Paul McCartney discovered the tune for "Yesterday" in a dream? I didn't. Not until I googled "sleep-and-creativity". For someone who is already hard-wired into turning in late, a few good tips for a smooth trip to dreamland is close to priceless. I am doing better now thanks to these tips. Here are some of the things I've learned and tried so far:
Took a bath with lavender scented soft soap - relieves stress.
Given up coffee beyond 5pm
Play music - Try using music with no words you can understand [another language perhaps]. Reggae does it for me since I really can't understand the accent. Chillout electronic music is best but watch out when you start having psychedelic dreams.
Try to develop a habit of having enough sleep. Be warned young designer. You may be squeezing yourself dry with all those all-nighters. Remember the lesson of the 3-hour-one-page-layout-puzzle.
Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts
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Reality check: Your shoes don't matter or I'm just a bit eccentric
Posted On 9:28 AM by nerdluck | 0 points of view
Yesterday, I walked around with unmatched shoes. Why? you ask... No special reason at all. I just thought I'd try to get a reaction, any reaction at all. I'd chat some people up everywhere... in the office, on the store across our building. All while studying their faces to catch a glimmer of realization that I am wearing shoes from two different pair. Only one noticed, though. This little experiment got me thinking towards two directions: 1)Your shoes only matter to you. Other folks don't really care. 2) Those around me probably think I'm the type to go around sporting unmatched sneakers. I choose not to answer and leave this experiment inconclusive.
The males of our species tend to use one side of the brain at a time because of the narrow connection between the two halves of our noodles. But that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. There are fundamental reasons why we have to be that way. Although we could try to go against this naturally hard-wired quirk, it is basically uncharacteristic of males to be multi-taskers. I, myself can never have my attention divided between two things. For me, its this thing now and that thing later. Take for example my little corner of the cloud. There used to be a time when I can't keep away from it for more than a few hours just tinkering with the template and hunting for cool widgets. Then I realized I've started to miss out on the other things I love doing like shooting photos and reading books and spacing out when I'm deep in thought (ok, that one sounded weird.) I was thinking, "This isn't right. I've got to strike a balance somewhere...." I drafted a time table. Maybe if I made a schedule, I could cram everything in somehow. Boy! I was wrong. Instead of doing one thing right, I made a lot of things half-assed. I was writing so bad that I could never even post one decent blog entry for the whole month of January. I finished a book but I can't even remember anything I read. That is so messed up. This cannot go on. I resolve to stay the way I was before-when attempting to engage me in a conversation while spaced out on anything (blogging included) will prove to be an exercise in futility. Just expect more erratic blog entry schedules 'coz I'm a man. I can only do one thing at a time.
For more information about the difference between the sexes, read The Essential Difference: Men, Women and the Extreme Male Brain (Penguin Press Science), by Simon Baron-Cohen. Is he related to Sacha? I have no idea.
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For more information about the difference between the sexes, read The Essential Difference: Men, Women and the Extreme Male Brain (Penguin Press Science), by Simon Baron-Cohen. Is he related to Sacha? I have no idea.
I remember being given an assignment for the holidays back in High School. We were (t)asked by our Homeroom adviser to list down all of the thing we wanted to improve on ourselves for the year 199?. In simpler words, make a New Years Resolution. Back then, I thought it was a silly thing to do. Not anymore. Now that I have grown a little older and a little wiser (hopefully), I actually like making these so called "resolutions." I know a lot of people gave up on it. Like they are resigned to the fact that they will break one or two or all of 'em before even thinking about February. So what's the point? Well, the point is trying at all and getting back up again if we happen to fail. And we WILL fail. We we're built that way, like it's hard-wired into our very system. That is being Human. And part of being human is the desire to constantly improve ourselves over and over again. Who was it that said, "We will keep on changing until we can no longer change." I think it was from a movie I saw when I was young... or not. These memories are all a jumble to me.
Anyway, Here's to a better you and a better me this 2008! Cheers!
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Anyway, Here's to a better you and a better me this 2008! Cheers!
The title says it clearly. I'm not a big Christmas fan so this will be the closest thing to a christmas blog entry I can come up with.When I was a kid, I loved the christmas season for the long holiday it came with but I totally dreaded the school christmas parties and the family reunions that I just HAD to go to only because it was the normal thing to do for a kid. It may sound extreme but think of it this way. It is never fun to be meeting old relatives when their idea of catching up is a "your cousins are better than you" sermon. The line "What can you expect from (insert absentee aunt or uncles name here)'s kids?" has burned it's marks in my young mind. After the sermon, we have to swallow what is left of our pride and line up for our annual Quezons, Osmenas and occassionally, Roxases. Talk about power tripping. I wished the ground would swallow me up and spit out my bones. The queasy feeling I had in my guts during the ride to the place is akin to knowing you are on your way to getting your ass kicked in a school yard brawl with the judo club captain. Speaking of school, Im glad I'll never get to open up another stupid picture frame as a christmas gift from someone in my class. I mean, a picture frame is something you give to someone you know nothing about... someone who is just a little better than a complete stranger, not someone you've been in class with for the past year or three. Come on! It would have been special had they put our photos in it instead of some blonde guy with perfect teeth. And what's with the fashion show? Where was it written that you HAVE TO wear the latest in kiddie fashion on primary school christmas parties? It was strange to me when I was nine... I wouldn't tell you what I think of it now.
The truth is, I don't hate Christmas. What I hate is how cheap we have made it to be. I am in no position to tell you what Christmas is about but I know what it isn't. Families don't come together on this day to put each other down. Ninongs and Ninangs arent cash machines to take money from. Christmas is not about parties. It's not about the Noche Buena or the gift giving or the new clothes.
well, that's it for this months rant. Reading back on what I wrote, I may have been unfair in describing our family reunions or the christmas parties in school. I have always been the odd one in the bunch. I must have been just looking at it wrong. I might just be an Ebenezer Scrooge after all. Except that I ain't an old miser, and I don't believe in ghosts.
It was nothing more than an ornament at home.This old telephone who sits on a corner.
Yet, I am almost always drawn to it.
Particularly, the mystery of the number on its face.
Whose home did this telephone used to serve?
What kind of people were they?
I always believed that we leave a part of ourselves
on the people we encounter and hold dear.
Could we have the same effect on the things we possessed?
If so, am I mystified by the soul that lent a part of itself to this old telephone,
or am I leaving a part of myself instead...
Yet, I am almost always drawn to it.
Particularly, the mystery of the number on its face.
Whose home did this telephone used to serve?
What kind of people were they?
I always believed that we leave a part of ourselves
on the people we encounter and hold dear.
Could we have the same effect on the things we possessed?
If so, am I mystified by the soul that lent a part of itself to this old telephone,
or am I leaving a part of myself instead...
American Pie
Don Mclean
A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.
Don Mclean
A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.
We were cleaning out some old stuff a couple of days ago when I found this old guitar pick. It was THE first guitar pick I bought around 12 years ago during my garage band years. It was the one I learned the basics with. I had mixed feelings the moment I held it between my thumb and index fingers just like I would when I was playing. It's been years... I have not played the guitar in years. The last time I was in a band, I was singing... I was writing... I have given up on the ax long before I have given up on the music. Probably because like most of the things I do, I think I wasn't good enough to be taken seriously. Looking at this worn out guitar pick, It makes me wonder. Had I kept on believing... Had I kept on working on it... Had I not given up... Could things have gone a little differently?
Photo available for FREE download. Just click the Picasa logo
The past few weeks had really been a blast. I didn't know I would enjoy blogging as much as I do right now. I have a list of things to blog about and I am nowhere near half of it. Only time constraints and intermittent connection (courtesy of my disappointing Broadband provider) prohibits me from blogging everyday. A roadblock that I may still consider, a blessing of sorts since in the first place, it was never my intention to post an entry everyday. I just get easily inspired whenever I see a new comment posted or when feedburner scores another reader. I get excited by the simplest of things, by the way.
Adam Hay of Rookie Designer said in one episode that one of the common distractions designers had to battle out with these days is the internet... More accurately, the urge to spend extended time in the cloud. Something that most bloggers (i think) are guilty of. I think the tendency for procrastination is aggravated when one is intentionally lost in the world of his or her favorite blog authors... which may or may not be another person entirely if you catch my drift.
Ten years ago, when the internet was young, My girlfriend (my wife now) would ask me how I can spend hours on end in front of a computer doing nothing but read... Waitaminit.. I think that was what she told me last week...
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Adam Hay of Rookie Designer said in one episode that one of the common distractions designers had to battle out with these days is the internet... More accurately, the urge to spend extended time in the cloud. Something that most bloggers (i think) are guilty of. I think the tendency for procrastination is aggravated when one is intentionally lost in the world of his or her favorite blog authors... which may or may not be another person entirely if you catch my drift.
Ten years ago, when the internet was young, My girlfriend (my wife now) would ask me how I can spend hours on end in front of a computer doing nothing but read... Waitaminit.. I think that was what she told me last week...
In preparation for the synchronized Baranggay (Town) and Sangguniang Kabataan (Youth Council) Elections in October, COMELEC, opened a special registration from July 15-22. Why does that have anything to do with me? Well... I have just realized that I have a civic duty on this city that has been home to me for the past four years. The last election I participated in was the 1998 presidential election. We all know how that turned out and I lost interest in the electoral system.So there I was, somewhat excited about officially being a citizen of Makati City by being a registered voter. I went to the COMELEC office in Makati but what I saw made my heart sink (refer to photo.) What you are seeing in the photo is not even half of the number of the people there since the COMELEC office IS ON THE SECOND FLOOR and there is more on the other side of the building. One particular middle aged guy was telling us that some of the people was already there as early as 5AM, apparently, the COMELEC is only going to accommodate 200 of the lot. Cutting the long story short... I got up and went off to blog about it. It could have been a lot easier (and faster) if they set the registration at each baranggay. Then they wouldn't need the whole week. Citizenship will have to wait 'till after the October election when regular registration resumes. My fault, really. I should have registered last year.
After a stressful week, I figured a day by the sea will clear my head. Off we went to Manila Bay one Saturday afternoon to soak up some of the sea air... and a lovely shot. The sea lends me a moment of peace from the daily grind.When I was a boy of seven years, My family took a trip to Bohol. I remember being afraid of the sea before the trip. Probably because the MV Doña Paz tragedy was big news back then. Or I probably watched a lot of Swiss Family Robinson... I don't really remember. I overcame my fear halfway through the trip and fell in love with the sunset and the sea that kisses it goodnight.
A high resolution copy of this photograph is available for FREE download at stock.xchange. and Picasa. I can also send it to you if you ask real nice.
If you we're somebody around my age you would have already deduced that I ripped my blog's name off from the now defunct kiddie show, Sesame Street. It was from a song called "That's about the size." I chose this particular line because it means a lot of things for me. For one, it identifies me with my generation. I believe every kid who lived in Metropolitan Manila in the 80's to the early 90's would remember this song... in their sleep. It probably has the most memorable tune out of all the early sesame street songs (second only to the main theme and right up there with 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12.) Most of all, I found it brilliant that the song encourage kids to look at things differently. I took it to mean that all of us should look at things by "where we put our eyes" and not take something as an absolute truth of the size of things. It taught us to have our own perspective. I maybe taking the song out of context but... THAT IS HOW I SEE IT... and that is why I named my blog like so. And that is why I write the things I do.
Special thanks to Nostalgia Manila for posting this video first and making me remember.
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Special thanks to Nostalgia Manila for posting this video first and making me remember.
I love walking in the rain. I love a steady downpour, not just a drizzle. If it weren't for the expensive camera I was toting along, I would have jumped right in. I wouldn't mind getting my feet wet... or my hair getting messed up. This is one of the moments I was so happy inside that it radiates to my face. When I was a kid in the old hometown, My siblings and I would always find an excuse to play in the rain. All the neighbor's kids were there too, running after our little rubber slipper boats. Walking in the rain reminds me of how carefree life was as a child. I missed this feeling. Come to think of it, It is quite late for rain like this. Considering that it is already july. In our part of the world, the wet season starts in june after an intense summer heat. Rain is the earth's blessing on its parched residents. Photo available for FREE download. Just click the Picasa logo (Pardon the poor quality of the photo... It was quite dark when I took it.)
At 29, when you look at your life in terms of years, you tend to look at it as a small number. Still young. But when you learn to live your life one day at a time, 10,592 days seems a lot. I should have done a lot more with 10,592 days.
I usually write a lengthy reflection whenever this day comes. That was back when I had a traditional paper journal. I dunno.. is it because this one is published online that I have reservations about writing down my darker thoughts for my unassuming readers to err.... read. I sure hope not. I don't want to lose track of the reason why I started this blog in the first place. Anyway, this is just the beginning. I don't know how long this'll go.
Truth be told, I am not an all-out good guy. I may be level-headed most of the time but for most of my life I had so much to be sorry for. I had also harboured a great deal of anger and pain towards many people who have hurt me in the past. I have also done quite a few things I can't be proud of because I was weak in dealing with those hurts. But that was the past. I realized long ago that those hurts are not worth losing sleep over. I cannot let some things that happened long ago keep me from enjoying the rest of my life in peace. It shouldn't keep me from doing more.
You should have done a lot more with 10,592 days. You'll never know if you'll stop at 12,000 or earlier.
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I usually write a lengthy reflection whenever this day comes. That was back when I had a traditional paper journal. I dunno.. is it because this one is published online that I have reservations about writing down my darker thoughts for my unassuming readers to err.... read. I sure hope not. I don't want to lose track of the reason why I started this blog in the first place. Anyway, this is just the beginning. I don't know how long this'll go.
Truth be told, I am not an all-out good guy. I may be level-headed most of the time but for most of my life I had so much to be sorry for. I had also harboured a great deal of anger and pain towards many people who have hurt me in the past. I have also done quite a few things I can't be proud of because I was weak in dealing with those hurts. But that was the past. I realized long ago that those hurts are not worth losing sleep over. I cannot let some things that happened long ago keep me from enjoying the rest of my life in peace. It shouldn't keep me from doing more.
You should have done a lot more with 10,592 days. You'll never know if you'll stop at 12,000 or earlier.
Much as I would like to make a life-changing commentary about our mortal existence (as if) or reveal the secrets of the universe(wow), this weeks blog wouldn't even be close to making sense. I've been sick the whole week ever since labor day. This cough is driving me nuts. I mean, I can't even get four (4) hours of sleep, I feel like a zombie, and I still haven't seen spiderman 3 'coz I don't wanna run the risk of having irrate theater goers turning into a lynch mob upon hearing some hacking cough destroy their, otherwise, fun movie experience.
I should be in bed right now, I should be resting this tired throat. Instead, Im at the office being the dutiful worker that I am. Bumming around with a blog and not even doing a single page of my rather "late" magazine layout doesn't really qualify me as a "dutiful" worker but hey, I'm here, ain't I?
During these times, I remember my Mom. A nurse by profession, she always has a quick remedy for anything that ails me and my siblings. We can never get any excuse to skip class through her. Whenever I pull out the "Mom! I'm sick, I can't go to class" excuse, she comes in my room, armed with paracetamol or mefenamic acid or salbutamol or loperamide or carbosistein or God-knows-what-else. In fact, I remember generic names of medicine more vividly than anything else in my childhood.
I gotta stop doing this now... My head hurts just thinking of my next sentence. Spiderman's gonna have to wait.
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I should be in bed right now, I should be resting this tired throat. Instead, Im at the office being the dutiful worker that I am. Bumming around with a blog and not even doing a single page of my rather "late" magazine layout doesn't really qualify me as a "dutiful" worker but hey, I'm here, ain't I?
During these times, I remember my Mom. A nurse by profession, she always has a quick remedy for anything that ails me and my siblings. We can never get any excuse to skip class through her. Whenever I pull out the "Mom! I'm sick, I can't go to class" excuse, she comes in my room, armed with paracetamol or mefenamic acid or salbutamol or loperamide or carbosistein or God-knows-what-else. In fact, I remember generic names of medicine more vividly than anything else in my childhood.
I gotta stop doing this now... My head hurts just thinking of my next sentence. Spiderman's gonna have to wait.
or alternate title could be "I'm mad at myself because it took me 6 months to put something in this damn blog..."
I started this blog almost a year ago to record my thoughts as it comes along... I hope this doesn't mean that I only had three (3) things to say since then. Now... what am I thinking about right now that made me pull out the notebook and "blog?" Is it about a life turning event? an epiphany? A scent that made childhood memories come rushing back? No!... I'm actually just thinking of myself. How's that for a thought?
I didn't find enough reason to tinker around with "blogging tools" or get myself a "real" blog site. I mean, all I wanted was something to remind myself of what I was, where I was and how I was feeling at a particular time. Heck, I don't even care if people read it or not. It's a trip down my thoughts and I prepared it all for myself. So, don't mind me... I'm just talking to myself.
Me: Hello Eman!
Myself: Hey, how've you been? It's been a while.
Me: I'm great... wish I had more time to blog, though
Myself: How come? you have time for lots of trivial things...
Me: Nah, You know how it is...
Myself: No, I don't.
Me: It's this blank page, It intimidates me... I know I want to put something in there.. You know I tried lots of times..
Myself: Uh huh..
Me: But most of the time, I feel that nothing I write is good enough.
Myself: Good enough for what? The Pulitzer Prize or The Palanca? Hahaha!
Me: Stop joking...
Myself: Sorry.
Me: Anyway, sometimes it all goes so bad. I just give up. I never have enough time to finish one.
Myself: You know? What you have is not a lack of time or good ideas but a lack of self-confidence. If you feel you wanted to write something then do it. You can only be as good as you believe you are. Be the best writer that you wanted to be..
Me: ...
Myself: what?
Me: Im not a writer. Im a graphic designer. I only wanted to do a blog.
Myself: ...
Me: ...
Myself:I'm actually at a loss for words whenever I talk to you. You know that?
Me: same here...
Watch out for more "blogs" from the shizoid mind of yours truly... that is, if the lazy bum part of me doesn't show its sleepy head anytime soon. (im talking to myself again) HAH!
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I started this blog almost a year ago to record my thoughts as it comes along... I hope this doesn't mean that I only had three (3) things to say since then. Now... what am I thinking about right now that made me pull out the notebook and "blog?" Is it about a life turning event? an epiphany? A scent that made childhood memories come rushing back? No!... I'm actually just thinking of myself. How's that for a thought?
I didn't find enough reason to tinker around with "blogging tools" or get myself a "real" blog site. I mean, all I wanted was something to remind myself of what I was, where I was and how I was feeling at a particular time. Heck, I don't even care if people read it or not. It's a trip down my thoughts and I prepared it all for myself. So, don't mind me... I'm just talking to myself.
Me: Hello Eman!
Myself: Hey, how've you been? It's been a while.
Me: I'm great... wish I had more time to blog, though
Myself: How come? you have time for lots of trivial things...
Me: Nah, You know how it is...
Myself: No, I don't.
Me: It's this blank page, It intimidates me... I know I want to put something in there.. You know I tried lots of times..
Myself: Uh huh..
Me: But most of the time, I feel that nothing I write is good enough.
Myself: Good enough for what? The Pulitzer Prize or The Palanca? Hahaha!
Me: Stop joking...
Myself: Sorry.
Me: Anyway, sometimes it all goes so bad. I just give up. I never have enough time to finish one.
Myself: You know? What you have is not a lack of time or good ideas but a lack of self-confidence. If you feel you wanted to write something then do it. You can only be as good as you believe you are. Be the best writer that you wanted to be..
Me: ...
Myself: what?
Me: Im not a writer. Im a graphic designer. I only wanted to do a blog.
Myself: ...
Me: ...
Myself:I'm actually at a loss for words whenever I talk to you. You know that?
Me: same here...
Watch out for more "blogs" from the shizoid mind of yours truly... that is, if the lazy bum part of me doesn't show its sleepy head anytime soon. (im talking to myself again) HAH!
as usual this post is suuuuper late
September 11 goes down in history as the greatest terror attack launched against the US. 9/11, as it is called, will always be remembered as the day that set a chain of events leading to wars, death and devastation. I couldn't care less...
September 11 for me holds a deeper personal meaning. On September 11 of this year, our (my wife and I) lives were forever changed by two persons named Lucille. One Light was born that day, and the other was buried.
Marga Lucille is our 3rd baby... We now have 3 beautiful little girls and the twins are really thrilled and excited about her. She came at a time of radical changes in our lives, some of them good and some otherwise. Whenever I get overwhelmed by the rate of which things around me spin, I stop awhile and share in the peace of mind that my only my three daughters can give me. I no longer fear the future.
Ninang Lucy Caliwanagan sure was a light to us in more ways than one. She had a jolly disposition that could always brighten our day. No trip to the hometown will be complete without passing by Ninang Lucy's house... her dinner table to be exact. A teacher by profession, she was unassuming and never judgemental of our childish angst about our own families. Just being around her makes everything bearable. Now suddenly, we can no longer indulge in her infectious joy. It's time for us to grow up deal with our own relational dilemma's. One thing I will always keep is the memory of her sunny disposition.
Happiness is a choice I am now making for myself. Even the simplest things can be the greatest source of joy. I will be happy because I choose to be...
